Gift Giving and the Modern Toddler

 

As E's second birthday approaches (be still my heart!) we have so much on the horizon. Planning E's waterpark birthday party, getting her excited to see all her family and friends, writing her the special letters I will be writing for all of her birthdays as long as I live- there is so much to do. And in all this doing it is so easy for me to forget that E's birthday involves so, so many people that love her and celebrated the day she entered the world. I am forever snapped back to this reality however when asked the parent-bone chilling question, "What should we get E for her birthday?"



Photo Credit to Jenna Crystal Photography

For less detail hyper-focused people this is probably not actually a mind-bender but my thought process following it always goes a little like this:

"NO MORE TOYS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!"
"...But I can't say it like that because it sounds like we weren't grateful for the toys she got last year."
"Books and clothes, you always need more of those!"
"Uggggh but no one ever wants to get the "boring" gifts, they'll just buy toys anyway."
"Should I suggest the least annoying toys possible?"
"My living room already looks like Toys R Us threw up all over. Where will I cram anymore of it?"
"What if we just say she doesn't need any gifts?"
"Then they'll definitely buy toys because I'm such a mean mother."
"Can we devise some sort of prepper-esque toy cellar?"
"Eff it, I'm telling them no toys..."

Now obviously I know she's going to get toys anyway, but I am praying it doesn't end up being such a plethora of rainbow colored plastic, eleventy billion battery powered shenanigans that I'll be on the news for my home being viewable from space. And if it is...well the drop-in play centre in town is going to be getting a lot of their old toys very, very soon if you know what I'm saying.

Unlike some of my recent blog entries I'd like this one to be more proactive than rambling so I've provided my own tips as a toddler mama who often buys gifts for the little ones' of fellow toddler mamas!

Photo credit to Jenna Crystal Photography

1. I find it helps to always ask the mother first when possible. Dad is obviously a big important guy in baby's life but is often not overly concerned with details like the centimeters of spare floor space you barely have at present, nor does he necessarily know what size/color/etc. the birthday baby wants or needs.
2. If she tells you not to get something, don't do it. She won't think its funny or cute that you're a rebel without a cause- she will crap talk you to me later about how you don't respect what she tells you (especially when YOU asked!).
3. If Mom has no ideas and you want to get a less conventional gift give the gift of an experience (zoo passes, etc.) or go to the dollar store or the craft store and load art supplies in a little tub- that Barbie will likely go unplayed with and forgotten fast, play-dough and window crayons are messy and therefore forever fabulous.
4. Whatever you end up buying try to be the person who gets the gift receipt. Yes its annoying to leave the store with a bajillion teeny tiny receipts, but for whatever reason every birthday party I've attended since my own childhood has featured at least one double gift. Sometimes that's awesome! Other times...let's just say one family only needs so many copies of the movie Frozen. We all need the ability to "let it go" to a hiding place for a few days ;) .

A further caveat to this blog post is if you can't afford a gift when attending a toddler's birthday don't sweat it. That sweet and slightly insane person wants to see you regardless. One of the most important things we can teach our children is that people matter far more than objects ever will. One of my favorite gifts to give little people are letters to them imparting age appropriate "wisdom". For example, there is nary a two year old boy who does not need to know that, "Broccoli is only for big boys, not for babies- eat at your own peril.  Dogs are pretty much always cool. In case of emergency, mustard is a suitable finger paint." 
 


On Appreciating what I have...

Its been a while since I've written anything because life has been madness for nearly a month. B has worked constant overtime, E is in the throes of the terrible two's (I have joked with some friends that if the three's truly are worse as the mothers of all three year olds say, I'm running away to Cabo), K is working on her first tooth and crawling simultaneously, I'm trying to get out and enjoy more photography and the house is forever getting more and more bogged down in the mess of everyday living. I'm exhausted just typing that out. But in being so exhausted I find myself (far too often) losing sight of the things in my life I ought to appreciate.

I find myself getting annoyed with E and her constant toddlerisms- the "why's", the "no's" and the "mine's" alone are enough to grate on my nerves, but in conjunction with her sudden picky eating and whining about everything and anything I sometimes sit at the dinner table thinking, How long until bedtime?. In these moments I forget all the funny, wonderful things about this age. That she loves all dogs indiscriminately, that she declares "I a doctor" and applies bandaids asking "It hurt?" with such compassion, that books hold so much wonder for her she'll gladly go to bed to read them. I'm forgetting that E won't be this small and sweet and all over me forever.

Often I envy my husband because he gets to leave the house everyday and talk to adults. He gets to still be seen as something other than "E and K's Daddy". He has much more freedom even in the house because the girls aren't constantly starfished to him. And when I think these things I am forgetting that he is giving up so much so I can stay home and raise our girls. I lose sight of the fact that he's tired from working around the clock and that he carries demands on his from within and outside of our family. I'm forgetting that B is the man that I love and that he is walking an equally hard line every single day without complaint.

There are days that my sweet, innocent little K almost drives me to drink with her level of neediness. Her constant mommy preference is exhausting and her pre-crawling frustration makes her miserable to be around by the end of the day. But I need to remember that her neediness is largely courtesy of our hard-won nursing relationship that I yearned for with E.  I need to see that the second she can crawl she won't want as many mommy snuggles or to be carried everywhere. I'm forgetting that K is a genuinely wonderful baby who is far too quickly losing her babyhood.

I struggle to enjoy photography as much lately because I want to be as good as people who've been doing it much longer. I pale at the thought of anyone entering my home because of the state of it. I am desperate to get out from under the weight of my OCD. There's so much negativity in me right now that everything is just so hard. And that's why I have to remind myself that I am very blessed...

Every single day.